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My daughter calls this "Antonio." He is her favorite player. Let's do our part to justify his pain and suffering. Let us hope that all of our pain and suffering is justified.
RLW
That's the title of song from The Poseidon Adventure, actually. Many people don't remember that the captain in that movie was played by the late, great Leslie Neilsen. We've all been talking about Airplane! recently. All the obituaries for the aforementioned fallen star also mentioned The Naked Gun films. But most people never saw the original show. If you're one of them, rent it immediately. It's far more random than the movies, if you can imagine that. Simply put, it's genius.
As for last night, it was hard to find much fault with how the Bolts played. On the radio feed, Hank Bauer did point out that Rivers had gotten hit twice early in the game when the Niners only rushed three. He also noted that San Francisco foolishly seemed to give up on Vernon Davis. Obviously, our defense had something to do with that. Sports Illustrated posted this piece today suggesting that the Chargers are doing their annual "scariest team in the league impression." The article also intimates that we might have locked up a playoff spot had we not let McNeill and Jackson sit out. I can't get caught up in that. As Rich Eisen pointed out last night, those guys don't play special teams. Norv didn't seem worried, but his pledge of no more blocked punts this season was almost violated. If the Bolts hadn't fucked up their start, who knows how they'd be playing now? Clearly, Jackson needs to be kept. Tim Sullivan once again touched on that today. However, he claims The Organization has no one to blame but themselves if the team doesn't make the playoffs. I tend to blame the coaches and players more for the 2-5 start.
First off, the player in the "fight" was Legedu Naanee. Whether or not he "matters" is another story. I expected this team to be complacent and partying after Indy. The former may have been true. At least our fans have brains and balls. Here's the podcast.
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Lazy lightning,
that sleepy fire in your eyes
Is that desire in disguise?
I saw on Twitter shortly after the game on Sunday that there was a contest for the best headline to be used on the Bolts' official site. Of course, my first reaction was DON'T FUCK THIS UP.
I have a feeling that one wouldn't have won, but it's what we were all thinking, right? Look, we've all suffered so much with this team. We all want the same thing. How we think The Organization could get there is where we differ. As for me, I am clearly torn. I will say the same thing I did when Marty Schottenheimer was coach or when Norv's ship appeared to first go south in 2008. It would take a long stretch of football that does not end in the postseason for us to get a new coach. That's not something I could ever root for. Jenn is right that former Bolts winning the Super Bowl while we do not makes AJ look bad more than anyone. As for how I feel? I've been pretty clear. I will never root for a former Charger to win it all, but recognize that it is less important than the need for current Chargers to win it all. It should come as no surprise, FAITHFUL READER, that I can get more than a little obsessive. Knowing that, I need to constantly keep myself focused on the ULTIMATE GOAL.
I will figure out how to post music as seamlessly as in the old days. However, to quote the Boss in NYC Serenade, this is no time to get cute. It's a mad dog's promenade. So walk tall, or don't walk at all.
It's not Springsteen I posted, though. It's Thin Lizzy's "Jailbreak," which I started things off with back in 2008 when we went into Arrowhead with our season in the balance. You know it's bad when Kevin Acee claims he doesn't care anymore, as he did in this week's U-T "Roundtable." At least Jay Posner has the original 90210 cast picture behind him in his office. I won't waste our time wondering how we got here, especially because I think we already know. Most of us have been playing Chicken Little all season long and pointing out the flaws every step of the way. Sadly, this pic of Shaun Phillips and the one posted below sum up our season. For a team that has been so maddeningly inconsistent since 2004, this season seems like a pretty good epitaph if it comes to that. Of course, FAITHFUL READER, we all don't want it to come to that.
Welcome to Week 13. It's Raider Week, as you know. There's been a lot of bashing Oakland's fan base this week. Just look up "You might be a Raider fan if" on Twitter and you will find some very funny posts. However, I think these people hate the Traitors for all the wrong reasons. This is the team that I watched beat the Chargers all through my childhood. They left us one game short of the Super Bowl in 1980 by beating us on our own field. I still remember seeing the late John Matuzsak talking shit during the pregame. Yeah, he was Sloth in The Goonies, but he also posed for Playgirl in 1982. You can see both achievements honored here. I know he was in Caveman and North Dallas Forty as well--that's not the point. He said he was going to lead his team past us and he did. There's nothing you can say about that other than to hate him for doing so. This was the team that almost ended Kellen Winslow's career, presumably for scoring 5 TDs against them in 1981. This is the team that has 3 Lombardi Trophies to our zero. The greatest birthday present I ever got was an Oakland Raiders helmet pinata filled with airplane bottles of Jim Beam. They say the pinata is for the fan of the team the helmet represents, but I say otherwise. I beat the living shit out of that thing along Third Avenue and took my ass uptown to see a Skynyrd cover band. I posted this photo on JIC back in the days when I used to get comments asking me not to cuss so much, a la Jeffrey Lebowski. Before he created Glorify The Past, Scott Scharer used to be the biggest supporter of my constant use of the word "skullfuck" when speaking about our arch rivals. My point is that this site was founded upon hatred of Oakland, but not because we have beaten them a lot lately or that their fans dress up like it's Comic Con. It's because we need to move past them to make our own history.
Welcome to Blowgun, Day 2. Raider Week continues. I received an e-mail from the DirecTv people about their "Ultimate Displaced Fan" constest. They wanted me to "pump up Charger fans." I think we know I am not the guy for that job, but here is what I wrote:
OK, here I go again. I entered this last year and was snubbed. First off, I am not a "displaced" fan. If anything, I am a misplaced fan since I have never lived anywhere but in the state of New York. I am sure that this award will go to some face-painter or fan of a "long suffering" franchise. I argue that there is no more frustrating team than the San Diego Chargers.
When I say that I am a huge fan, I mean that I am actually affected by the outcome of a game over which I have absolutely no affect on—deeply. I’m self aware to know how absurd this is, but I am sometimes also unable to stop myself. My football fanaticism doesn’t follow the usual patterns. I don’t wear face paint or anything like that. However, my mood is often dictated by the travails of a team that throughout its history has either been untalented or underachieved. If you’re unfamiliar with the Chargers’ disappointing exploits, look them up. The one year they may have been the best in the land, there was yet to be a Super Bowl to prove it. There have also since been allegations of steroid use to further taint that season. The year they miraculously made the Super Bowl, they were stomped by one of the all-time great squads. From 2004 to 2009, they won 12, 13 and 14 of their 16 regular-season games, respectively. In those seasons, they promptly imploded in their own stadium with a rash of missed field goals, fumbles, interceptions and mind-boggling personal fouls.
How much of a fan am I? I have been writing a blog before such an expression even existed. That's since back in 1995, to be exact. I used to sneak into bars to watch Charger games before there even was such a thing as "NFL Sunday Ticket from DirecTv." In fact, I'm the reason that such a idea even exists. I used to have to stand on 3rd Avenue in the Upper East Side of Manhattan just to PAY (two drink tickets were included) to get in and stand behind a Studio 54-like rope to watch the smallest screen in the place which always seemed to show the Chargers game. Of course, I was lucky enough to see my team finally make the Super Bowl in 1994. Sadly, I should have been more specific with my constant hopes that they finally reach The Big Show. I should have specified a win while they were there. Yeah, I went to Pittsburgh for the AFC title game where we were the biggest underdogs in conference championship game history at that time. True, I went to the Super Bowl by myself, with a wineskin full of Jim Beam. Yeah, the photo of that was on a plaque in the Pro Football Hall of Fame--you can look it up at www.justiceiscoming.com. But that doesn't warrent me winning this award.Having been in Canton, OH with the "Big Dawg," "Barrel Guy" and whatever the guy in the squawking Eagle suit calls himself is an honor. However, the thing that gives me the most pleasure is when I get an e-mail that says "I thought I was the only person who cared about the Chargers outside of California" or "thanks for always writing even through the 1 to 4 win seasons." I have seen the NFL embrace its out of town fans over the last ten years, obviously for marketing reasons. However, I still remember having to write the Chargers in 1981 and sending a beat up football card of my hero Dan Fouts to be signed. It was and it sits over my computer to this day. The picture I have attached features the jersey I wore throughout the 1994 season of my other all-time favorite, Stan Humphries. The man led us to the Super Bowl, showing heart and guts all the way. My friends invited him to my bachelor party in New Orleans in 2003 and offered to pay his way if that tells you something.
Speaking of New Orleans, please tell "Archie" from your contest description that Charger fans respect his sons both winning the Lombardi Trophy and hope we will someday. However, we are still waiting on a public apology for his disrespect of the San Diego Chargers on Draft Day 2004. As they say in Delta Tau Chi, they can't say that about our pledges, only we can.
How much of a fan am I? I will return first prize if the Chargers are not in the Super Bowl this year if that gives you an idea. I was fortunate to have the former VP of the team send me an autographed football of LaDainian Tomlinson and was even more fortunate to get rid of it when he became an ex-Bolt. You get the idea.
Ross Warner
Medford, NY
Notice I didn't even say that I would reject any prize with the Manning name, that I pranked Eli the night before the draft or that my Charger beads from my bachelor party were thrown by yours truly onto the Manning family lawn. I guess that's just between us.
You can enter the contest or vote here.
PS
Did anyone see the Jackson transcript on the NCT? A little less convincing than I would have liked. "I think some of them [the games] were blacked out." Scott Bair was going easy on him, too.
I can't think of a more appropriate photo to kick things off here at Bloguin. I'd like to thank those good folks for having The Legion Of Lightning Bolt over to their place so we can fuck some shit up in our own special way. JUSTICE IS COMING has always benefited from the magnanamousness of its readers. In 1995, Eric Stangel, now head writer for David Letterman, asked me if I would like to distribute my own little Charger rag which I was writing to push Charger Football Weekly out of business. (After leaving CFW, the former editor contacted me to tell me that my angry letter was dead on). Then Daniel Chang helped get JIC on the web in the form of its own site. Lastly, Scott Scharer of Glorify The Past (once one of the Legion's angry cranks) helped get Justice into blog form.
If you're already among The Justice League, you know all this, so I won't bore you any further. Sunday Night was quite a win. I'm not going to start wondering aloud "is this the year?" After last season, I will always be in wait and see mode. I'm not even that surprised we beat the Colts. The team I'm most surprised we beat on Sunday Night was the San Diego Chargers. They've always been our biggest nemesis. Weddle and Cooper, the two guys who we rightfully give the most shit to for dropping picks both hold onto the ball. I am sure everyone remembered the call on Weddle in our last game at Indy. Cro's pick six was negated on a far more questionable call than the non call last night. You make your own luck. I said during the aforementioned playoff game that the Bolts would play through that call that negated a touchdown. I think we played well enough on defense last night that we earned the right to get the benefit of the doubt from the refs.
Anyway, this will serve as a test post to see if the "the move," as in Long Beach to Vegas (Godfather I into II) worked. Sam and Sarah are in Florida until Thursday, thus last night's midnight margarita, so I will be posting a few times this week. It's Raider Week, by the way.
RLW
